And So It Begins...

Sometimes I wish I could just go up to you and say, “I’m in like with you.”

I just don't know anymore...

Friend: I think the main bad guy in this game I'm playing is gay

apparantly he has a horse made out of diamonds whom he has named "Butt Stalion"

Me: O_o

I'm gonna walk away now.

Friend: computers can't walk !

Me: I didn't say my computer was walking! lol

Friend: but I am reading that on my computer

Me: Sometimes I wonder about you.

but then I look at myself and I'm worse. He's just normal lol

Friend: sometimes I wonder about myself but from now on I am going to wonder about butt stalion

I live with an alcoholic/druggie.

Now that I think about it, it has been ten years since my parent’s divorce. Since the divorce my older brother (now 28 and still living at home with his girlfriend who is my age) has turned to drugs and alcohol. When I was younger I never saw him doing such things because he kept away from home. But as I grew older and as my brother lost friends to hang out with, I began to be affected by it.

It has come to the point in which my brother goes out drinking every weekend and gets plastered (sometime during the week he will stay late at work and get hammered before coming home. He works as a mechanic at a shop in which only two guys and the owners son son works on cars. So basically, there’s no rules about drinking during or after work in the shop.) He’ll come home and start saying crap about mom or I. He’ll call us douche’s or some other sort and go on talking about how we’re stupid and are low lives. It gets to me. So, of course, I lash out back.

What bothers me the most is my mother never does a damned thing about it. She threatens to kick him out…but it’s been five years of those threats and not once has it happened. I will be the one that gets yelled at for complaining about him or for posting status’ on facebook because I want my FAMILY and FRIENDS to know what I have to LIVE with and through.

I don’t need all this abuse. That’s what it is. Abuse. I live in a house where my mother favors the insane child and the one who wants it all to just get fixed is the one who gets tossed to the side and is forgotten about.

I need to move out. That will never happen if I never find a roommate. My best friend wants to move to England and has cats. So we can’t room together. Sadly, that’s the only friend I have that isn’t out of state and from the internet.

Today, my brother threatened to sue or kill me for posting a status about him online. I just want the word out! The word that this family is keeping a secret that needs to get out so that my brother can get help! He needs rehab! He needs a better life.

Basically, I need help. I’m scared of living in my own home and have no where to go. (I have four animals that need to come with me.) I don’t know what to do!

My theme song thanks to working at Walmart with a bunch of creeps.

Rant Time.

So, during the TinyChat I had with a bunch of my friends from work and my friend from Florida there was a kid who has had a crush on me since High School in the room (he works in produce). Well, he normally annoys me like no other but I thought I’d be nice to invite him since he talks to everyone else in the chat at work.

Well, he had a beer even though he knows that EVERY TIME he has drank when I was near I have hated him because he acts like a total dick.

I didn’t say anything. I figured since we were just on an online video chat nothing could go wrong.

I had my polar bear spirithood on and he decided it would be FUNNY to pretend that it turned him on and masturbate. There was five other people in the chatroom! This kid is supposed to be some huge religious nut and he does this when he knows I was brought up by a strict father as a pastor! (not that this isn’t wrong in itself without this factor)

I didn’t say anything. Just laid my head down hoping he would stop. I took the hood off and he yells, “Don’t take it off, I wasn’t done!”

My best guy friend from work ended up leaving. I typed in the message box, “Look what’ve done!” and he didn’t get it. I said, “You made Pat leave!” and he still didn’t get it. So, I left. I made a whole other freaking chatroom so we could have a normal, nerdy conversation.

He then posted two statues on facebook that read,

Really? How is that going to get any girl to like you?

The next day I didn’t even make eye contact with him. He asked Pat if I was still mad at him. He asked some girl I rarely talk to if I looked mad. (Yeah, all the people he talked to about me came to tell me.) He continued to bug Pat. I felt bad.

Today, I decided I would go sit with him and my other friend in the breakroom just to be nice. Be the mature one. As soon as I sat down, “I better leave or everything I do or say will be a sexual reference.” I ignored him. He went on this rant about how everything was a joke…blah blah blah. Not directly talking to me. Not saying SORRY. Finally, my other friend left and I just sat there on my cell phone ignoring him. He then asked, “so are you gonna say anything?” I answered, “Nope.” He got up and stormed off saying, “bitch” under his breath.

I just got a text from another guy friend at work saying, “He wanted me to tell him (why I was mad) and I was like no. then he was like your weird and stuff about how he was talking about what was normal stuff and that I’d find out when I was older.” 

Okay, this friend (Don) is 19. Josh is 21. Yes, Josh you’re so much older and more mature…

Okay, how can you NOT see this is so immature? A guy in the chatroom left because of how disgusting and inappropriate you were being!  A guy that sends me silly videos about “bro rape” with dildos…

How immature can you be? Why can’t you realize what’s right in front of your face?

I work with this guy. He is the happiest one in my department.

You would never believe what he has been through with the way he acts. Please read his story. It may change your view on life.

I keep my comic books in a binder.

My step-father just spilled coffee all over it. Talk about feak out!

Dear Work

If I called off sick yesterday…why are you calling me on my day off to come in?

Found my old high school notes with my ex-best friend.


Finding Them:

Seeing who they are from:

Reading some of them:

Finding notes from someone who hates you now…not fun. lol.

You know what?

I am glad I didn’t say sorry to you.

My battery has been like this for ten minutes.


I love how my best friend and I

can mess with an ex-friends mind on Tumblr and they never realize it’s us.